Can a Sex Addict Be Faithful? (9 Things To Consider)
Although the question has no definitive answer, you might be compelled to ask: can a sex addict be faithful?
This article discusses the signs you should consider while figuring out whether a partner is cheating or just addicted to sex.
It’s true that not all sex addicts are cheaters and unfaithful to their partners. For instance, there can be a person who might be addicted to porn but not have sex with someone else.
However, the nature of the problem makes it understandable why a partner might ask this kind of question. There are definitely cases where sex addicts have been unfaithful.
Furthermore, several signs and symptoms of sex addiction overlap with behavior that suggests cheating. The list below will help you distinguish if a sex addict can be faithful.
- Do all Sex Addicts Cheat?
- What does Unfaithfulness look like to you?
- 1. They Lie Constantly
- 2. Sex becomes a Priority over Other Life Events
- 3. Chronic Masturbation
- 4. They Try to Hide their Phones and/or Computers
- 5. They will Flirt Constantly
- 6. They can’t Stop Watching Porn
- 7. They Become Unusually Dominant in Bed
- 8. They Push you Way out of your Comfort Zone
- 9. They become Manipulative
- Trust your Gut
Do all Sex Addicts Cheat?
There are many cases that report people using sex addiction as an excuse for their infidelity, even if they are not actually an addict. In fact, 20% to 30% of people agree to having cheated on their partners.
However, you can’t simply assume that approximately 12 million US adults with some form of sex addiction are all cheaters. While the risk of being unable to control sexual urges is much higher, not all sex addicts cheat.
It might seem like an assumption otherwise, but not all sex addicts are cheaters. It is a blanket statement that does not apply to each individual sex addict.
There are several other cases of sex addicts that don’t sleep with other people, despite the addiction. Sex addiction and affairs don’t always go hand in hand.
What does Unfaithfulness look like to you?
Cheating, infidelity or unfaithfulness all means different things to different people. Personal opinions and values, cultural influences, and religious beliefs all play an important role in determining what justifies as cheating.
For example, many conservative and religious couples think of watching porn as cheating. On the other hand, there are couples that are in open relationships and consider casual flirting as not cheating.
However, for most couples, cheating includes dating and/or sleeping with another person while still being with their partners. Regardless of whether your partner is a sex addict or not, if they meet your criteria for cheating, they are unfaithful.
Whether you’ve been dating for a few months or have been married for years, if you suspect unfaithfulness, confront them. That isn’t to say that cheating will always be the answer.
If your partner is trying to keep things from you or acting a bit differently, there is a chance they could a sex addict.
We have compiled a list of signs spouses of sexually addicted men or women should consider before assuming the worst.
1. They Lie Constantly
Sex addicts have a knack for coming up a wide range of lies to hide their guilt or addiction. Regardless of whether they have cheated or not, sex addicts lie compulsively.
They could be lying about where they were, who they were with, how much money they spent, if they were hooking up or flirting with someone else, and others.
But this doesn’t have to mean that they are cheating. The lies could be involuntary responses to hide the guilt they feel due to their addiction to sex.
2. Sex becomes a Priority over Other Life Events
If you were to give your partner a choice between having sex or attending a loved one’s wedding, you would probably choose the wedding.
Understanding sex addiction, a sex addict might prefer having sex rather than celebrating even their own children’s wedding. Since this is definitely not the usual choice one would make, you can take it as a sign.
There are obvious exceptions when you and your partner are equally aroused and can’t help it. But even then, there is a time and place to let off the steam.
Sex addicts prioritize sex over anything else even if it means missing out on events or major life events that happen only once.
3. Chronic Masturbation
Does your partner masturbate all the time, despite having sex regularly with you?
This might be an indication of a compulsive disorder. Sex addicts don’t always get their usual high or satisfaction by having sex with someone else, even if they do it more than once.
So in order to get their satisfaction, they choose to masturbate. For many severe cases, this can mean masturbation at inappropriate places like office bathrooms, parked cars, and public locations.
If spouses of sexually addicted men or women notice their partners masturbating way more than they used to, they might have a problem.
4. They Try to Hide their Phones and/or Computers
One of the first signs of cheating nowadays is when a partner goes to extreme lengths to ensure you don’t have access to their phones or computers.
They make sure that they lock their computers and keep their phones on their person at all times. In fact, they might even sleep with their phones in their hands or under their pillow.
Or they might act in other suspicious ways. For instance, they might minimize tabs, log out of their apps or turn the screen away from your view.
The word affair would immediately pop in your mind with this observation. However, they might be doing so to hide their addiction to porn.
5. They will Flirt Constantly
Even though a bit of light friendly flirting is not offensive to most people, it can quickly get out of hand for sex addicts. Their flirtations are more aggressive and sexual in nature.
Most sex addicts won’t consider the time, place or person and will try to chat them up. They might not cross the line to actually go and ahead and have sex with them, they will try to flirt with anyone.
For sex addicts, flirting with anyone that catches their eye becomes a way of getting off. In more severe cases, it can also be used to groom potential partners.
6. They can’t Stop Watching Porn
There is an overwhelming number of adults that watch porn every now and then for some quick sexual gratification. There are also many couples who bring in porn to spice up their usual sex life.
Doing so can actually be healthy for the relationship, provided you don’t become dependent on porn for getting aroused or getting off. This is true for both masturbating and having sex with someone else.
When it’s watched to explore healthy sexual activities, porn can be great. But the moment one develops reliance, it can become a problem. Often, it can put a strain on the relationship.
7. They Become Unusually Dominant in Bed
A taste for BDSM or power play can be really enticing and actually make a couple’s sex life interesting and fun. However, this is mostly pre-planned and consensually agreed on.
Furthermore, it involves both partners getting off and having their needs met. Sex addicts, in their compulsion, don’t always care if you orgasm or not.
They seek their pleasure from sex and do what it takes to make them good at it. It becomes important for them to always be in control.
If you and your partner are into power exchange during sex, you can enjoy this. However, if this dominance comes accompanied with other warning signs, they might be a sex addict.
8. They Push you Way out of your Comfort Zone
When done in a consensual manner, exploring kinks and other sexual interests can be helpful for a couple’s sexual life. However, there is a limit to how far you are willing to experiment.
This exploration of your sexuality can become unhealthy when one partner tries to consistently push the other one out of their comfort zone. There is a term called “hard limits” that refer to sexual activities that are always off limits.
Spouses of sexually addicted men or women are disrespected pushed way too much by their partners as they seek only their own pleasure. This could be a sign that could add up to sex addiction.
9. They become Manipulative
Manipulative behavior is also observed in other kinds of addictions and substance abuse. It allows addicts a way to divert the attention from the situation and carve a way out when being confronted.
For some addicts, this can be quite severe. They try to come up with excuses and try to prove that nothing is wrong. They can even go the point of making you question yourself for suspecting them.
In scenarios where they suspect their addiction might come up, they distract conversation. They will use tactics to make you believe that the problem may be with you rather than with them.
Besides that, they might try to manipulate you into feeling sorry for them. Sex addicts will try to convince their partners to meet their own needs and satisfy their craving for sex.
Trust your Gut
Being spouses of sexually addicted men or women, you know them quite well. If your gut is telling you that something is wrong, then there probably is something amiss. However, instead of assuming they are cheating, confront them.
Learn sex addiction signs and symptoms and recognize patterns before thinking they were unfaithful. Let them talk and reveal how they feel without shaming them for it.
Understand how it implicates their life and then do your research on how to stop sex addiction.